Lekker testen

Chuck ipsum. China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth. When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn’t work, he plays zombie. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f*cking Indian. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, “always leave things the way you found em!” Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist. Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

Chuck Norris doesn’t see dead people. He makes people dead. Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never. Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably. Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face. A duck’s quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly. Chuck Norris never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Chuck”. Chuck Norris once kicked a baby elephant into puberty. When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

Chuck Norris doesnt have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway. A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris’ shoe. Chuck replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Chuck Norris!” The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris. There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O’Brien’s lever that shows clips from “Walker: Texas Ranger” and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan’s wife. Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice. Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never. Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn’t take sh*t from anybody.

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris. Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die. Chuck Norris invented water.